Pull me back
by give-me-tvd
Summary: "I needed you to breath." She whispers. And he nods.


_Prompt: Could you write a steroline one shot based on the stiles and lydia (teen wolf) kiss from 3x11? It doesn't have to do with panic attacks but I just love how when she kisses him he's really shocked but then kisses back. It could be set in the next season, like maybe they're still not together and they're getting kind of closer._

…

…

She failed. She doesn't admit it, of course. But she knows that her plan failed. And she hates the sound of it. Because all her plans work, all her ideas always seem to be the right ones and she ends up proud, satisfied and happy.

But this time it's different. She looks at his back, as he stares out the window with a drink in his hand. Then she looks back to the broken wood over the floor. And overall, she's just glad that she came back after giving the safe back to her mother.

"So…" She titles her head as he looks down. "It didn't work."

After a moment, a sigh and another moment of staring outside, he shakes his head and mumbles a _'no_ '.

"Katherine was right." He says. "Everything she said was right, I'd rather focus on the pain of drowning over and over again than to think of… Elena… and what she did."

She walks to him, something in her glad that they're having this conversation because she thinks- believes that if he listens to her, he will see everything the way she does.

"That's normal, Stefan. Well, not that normal, but it's understandable. She broke your heart-"

"Caroline, my brain chooses to relive the pain and agony of those three months of drowning over and over again, in a safe, alone and empty. My brain would rather remind me of how close I was to turn it off again, making me guilty and ashamed of all of it rather than thinking about a damn breakup." He interrupts her, finally turning away from the window and facing her. He is not shouting, but not chatting either. He is angry. At himself, for taking so long, for being this weak. He is tired and she gets it.

"It wasn't just a breakup, Stefan." She reasons with him, voice low and smooth while taking another step closer. "You loved her, okay? Elena wasn't just some girlfriend; she was your soulmate, your _epic_ love." She shrugs with a smile. "She gave you everything, and then she took it all from you. She made you happy, whole, and then she left you-"

"Caroline-" He interrupts, eyes closed as he shakes his head, asking her to stop.

"It hurts, okay? It sure as hell does. To know that you were so easy to be replaced, forgotten. It damages every memory between you because you were better than this! Because there was a time when you thought that this is it, your home, your happy place. You were ready to give everything away for her but then she gave _you_ away."

"What are you doing?" He asks, eyebrows furrowed and features clearly in pain. He needs her to stop, because she is saying things that he knows so damn well, things that made him prefer the memories of the safe in the first place. So this? This isn't helping. This is pushing him to lose control. Again. This time in front of her.

But she doesn't seem like she is considering a timeout, he knows this look, this _'on mission'_ look. This is her plan, and she won't stop till she's done.

"Yeah, it hurts, Stefan. But you know what hurts more? Living with all these thoughts and voices, thinking that you're not enough and not just thinking but accepting! Face it, Stefan. Okay? It hurts? Say it! Shout it! Say how terrible you feel, say how desperate it makes you, how you end up wanting to sink your teeth into someone's neck and draining them. Say it!"

And now he can't see her, for a moment it's her face and then there's water. And no air. There's a dark safe, there's emptiness. Fear. He squeezes his eyes and opens them again, looking away and trying to get it together. But she's closer than before, and he can hear her pulse. He runs his tongue over his teeth. "Caroline, sto-" He tries to chuckle, laugh, lighten the situation and escape this corner she has put him in.

"She left you, Stefan. And you know what? She's happy." She takes a step bigger than the one he backs away. "She's moved on and she's good. So is Damon. You know who isn't? You."

"Caroline-"

"You deserve better than this, Stefan. You deserve someone who chooses you, someone who gives you everything they have, someone who doesn't give up and walk away. You deserve better and you should know it."

His back hits the wall, which he didn't know he was that close to. He feels like suffocating, his face is pale and he's already sweating. And there's water and darkness and he's hopeless and alone.

"You have the whole life ahead of you. You still can meet someone new and be happy." She is smiling, can't help it but smile when she imagines him happy and whole again.

He gasps for air as he falls to the ground, clearly not in the same place as her anymore. He is looking around him like a lunatic, head spinning in despair and eyes wide in fear. She kneels down next to him, her hands coming up to his face to make him see her, and only her.

"You can get through it, Stefan. You've gone through worse. Elena left you, and it hurt, but it's over. And you have to move on, you _can_ move on." Her fingers run over his cheeks, trying to sooth him but failing. "You just have to take hold of it." She is firm, trying to wake him up. But he is really not here.

And the way his eyes look at her in horror, legs fighting the floor as if trying to run from a predator. The way his face goes yellow and no breath comes out for a long moment. It all scares the hell out of her. And she suddenly regrets the plan.

"Stefan." She says, firmly at first. "Stefan?" But then she goes softer, more worried. "Stefan, it's okay. I'm here. You're here."

He doesn't seem to even hear her.

"You're here, okay? You're with me." She nods and her eyes are frightened. "Look, we're at you house, it's not the safe okay?"

"Stefan? Stefan?" She shouts, shakes him a bit but he's long gone. His eyes don't even stir, and his lips don't move. Remain open a bit with no breath coming in or out.

"STEFAN?" She shouts, one tear falling in anger and frustration.

And then she's kissing him. Lips pushes against his own, trying to move anything in him. To push anything, just make him stir. Her hands are holding his shirt; knuckles are white from the pressure. She titles her head, pushing more firmly, yet softly in some way.

Her eyes are closed, so she doesn't see when he comes back to life. But she suddenly feels two hands coming up to hold her waist, giving her support she didn't know she needed. She can feel his fingers brushing against the fabric of her jacket, diving in a bit. She can feel the way his eyebrows furrow more and more. And she can feel the way his lips hold her own for a second, not dancing back but just capturing.

And then she pulls back, her lips at least. Because her face doesn't move an inch, her forehead rests against his. Her lips tremble as she lets out a shaky breath. And she's thankful to the curtains her hair has made, because she doesn't want him to see how scared she is.

After a long moment of holding her breath, she realizes that it's not working. She needs to breathe, so she lets out a long, relieved breath then another one then another one.

They remain like that for a while, his back resting against the wall, hands around her waist to hold her in her place. And she with her hands against his chest to give her some balance. It's a dead silence, except or the sound of their breathing. Shaking and unsteady.

He opens his eyes slowly, looks at her face and the way she squeezes her eyes. Her cheek is wet. And she is beautiful. More than any time before. She doesn't open her eyes for moments, and he gets to stare, let his eyes wander around her face, the freckles on her nose and the way her rosy lips shake.

But she does open her eyes, eventually. And they just stare. And there are millions of questions floating between them.

"I needed you to breath." She whispers.

And he nods.

And she almost sees fear on his face again.

… …


End file.
